"Recalculating"

oh how i loathe to hear her voice.  yet she speaks to me so often

"Recalculating.  Recalculating.  RECALCULATING"

and in that ever so clipped british look-down-'er-nose sort of way.  yet she's always pleasant.  it's only me that dislikes her.  the children LIVE to hear her pipe up oh-so-very often.  and she doesn't disappoint.

i want to fire her, that GARMIN tart.  she's not doing her job well.  i don't even think she knows where she is half the time.

often, when i peek, we are driving thru fields where roads have atually been for 10 yrs or so (*I* am driving on a road - SHE is not).  or she'll direct me to turn into a farmer's old tractor run for a few km, just so i can eventually make my way back to her's again.

i've only JUST been driving in bratislava.  managed to avoid it for the (almost) 3 months we've been here (and, of course the 2 yrs before that!!).  but now that the varkenhusband is back in china for a bit, i'm forced to drive.  especially to all those dang birthday parties and play dates.  you know - the ones where they just provide a street address and expect you to KNOW how to get there?   

after this last one, i'm not sure i actually WANT to get back in the car with her anymore.  i know that this child lived further out of the city than we do.  in a nuther small town.  much like ours.  but SHE told me i needed to go back into the city.  i didn't listen.  i drove to stupava, the little town further OUT of the city.  and drove around.  i couldn't listen to her anymore.  but i couldn't shut her off.  she was driving me mad.

finally, i called the mum of this girl.  she gave me a different street to plug in to the tart. 

great!  should be there in a few minuettes, i say.  and hang up.

30 minutes later, i am helplessly, hopelessly lost.  SHE has no idea where we are.  and neither do i.

so, another phone call and 3 minutes after that, the mum drives me the LESS THAN ONE KM to their haus.  now i just had to be able to find my way back.  in the dark. 

this time i turned her off.  and i found my way.  ALONE.  in the dark.  and a thick, dense fog.

and all was quiet...

who needs that garmin tartlette, anywayze?